In order to avoid a potentially existential yawnfest regarding the proper label to label Jaimeen Desai, here is instead a set of skills:
He didn't have to, but he thought it sounded vaguely authoritative and before he realized that it would be so embarrassing, he couldn't stop.
PORTFOLIO OF SORTS
CALL ME, CALL ME BABY ANYTIME
(c) Jaimeen Desai. All rights reserved. Except for the font which I totally stole.